I have said that over and over, and it's ignored, while people hack my phone and create disparaging television shows, movies and magazine covers out of the interpretations that they prefer to make of things that they see on my phone that don't mean what they want them to mean. What I overtly say and write is ignored and ridiculed even as it's plagiarized and perverted, while my privacy is invaded all the time by people looking for excuses to continue to bully me.
Urine has no sexual meaning for me at all, except for a negative one, and I'm really tired of people being passive-aggressive about the videos of me. Those videos are crimes committed against me, for which nobody has taken responsibility, and for which all of the blame has been put on me and what happened in them.
There's nothing that I can do about those videos. They're filmed already. Millions of people are probably going to see them. It's the worst thing that has ever happened to me, and it's not as if they're the first horrible thing that has ever happened to me.
Every time that a conglomerate person doesn't like something that I say, he or she makes a snide reference to the videos. It's about power; a power struggle that I'm not creating and am not trying to win or lose, just that I object to and think should stop. It is dehumanizing.
Those videos of me are exploited all the time. I am never misled by the people who try to imply "You look pretty in them," and who incessantly reference them in ways that they try to make themselves and me believe are flattering, not only because the videos are a form of sexual assault but also because I know that lurking under the "You look good in the videos" message is the power card of those same people saying something about the less attractive or more socially taboo parts of them whenever they want to minimize something that I say that has nothing to do with the videos.
The videos, their filming, distribution and publicity, have the specific purpose of making the world not take me seriously as a person. I knew that immediately, as soon as I knew that the first of them had gotten filmed; I knew that they would be used as an extremely powerful weapon against everything that I have to say protesting the conglomerate's agenda or the behavior of anyone at all.
Two of the many goals of the videos are to make me feel helpless and to make me look helpless to other people. I have been repeatedly and routinely victimized; I can't stop voyeuristic video of me from being filmed, and I can't stop the videos from being passed around and uploaded to the Internet, and I can't stop people from watching them, and I can't stop people from talking about them in ways that have nothing to do with what a horrible violation they are, and all of that serves the conglomerate's main goal of making me look not only like a negligible person but like an example of what happens to people who protest everything that the conglomerate wants to do.
This is not the first time that I have said all of this, either. What I have to deal with every day is an incredible and sickening example of how much people who don't want to hear something can manage not to for years.
Copyright L. Kochman, August 23, 2015 @ 6:43 a.m./additions @ 7:55 a.m./addition @ 8:07 a.m.
