Food gets caught in my teeth a lot more, and is a lot more difficult to get out without flossing.
My tooth care regimen has grown to include 5 steps, which I try always to do at night in addition to at least brushing in the morning and trying to floss or brush during the day:
-floss
-brush with desensitizing or whitening toothpaste. I have to use desensitizing toothpaste because I have always had sensitive teeth and also because I have root exposure.
-rubbertipping (ask your periodontist what it is)
-brushing in between my teeth with toothpick-sized toothbrushes
-use of a saliva-inducing gel so that my mouth doesn't get so dry that I get more gum recession
That's just my tooth care routine; that doesn't include putting stuff on my hairline to make my hair thicker or washing my face, then putting acne medication on my face, then slathering my face and neck with anti-wrinkle, anti-sag moisturizer.
I like to think that one of the reasons that I'd be difficult to run away with is that it would be obvious on the first night of abscondment with someone else's boyfriend or husband that running away with me was no escape from anything, certainly not reality or aging or imperfections or anything else that perhaps makes men cast their eyes elsewhere.
-(Knock knock)
-Yeah?
-How much longer are you going to be in the bathroom?
-A while.
-Ooh, are you getting all sexy-looking in there?
-No. I'm doing what I have to do not to look exponentially worse every day.
-You're so funny. Come out, I need the bathroom.
-No.
-I'm sure it's not true that you have to spend at least an hour and a half in the bathroom every night just to look the way that you usually look.
-All right, I won't.
(A week later)
-You can't stay here.
-Why? I didn't get suspension of services before I left.
-You stole (___) from (___). Don't go stealing someone's man and then expect to get a bed at any homeless shelter anywhere when he drops you off forever without stopping the car.
Copyright L. Kochman, August 23, 2015 @ 2:18 p.m.
