It happens every few weeks, when the knowledge that NOTHING will ever get rid of the SICK, SADISTIC, ILLEGAL videos of me breaks through into my conscious thinking so it's there all the time.
I think it's the way that my brain is processing this horrible thing that has happened to me. For the first couple of years after I realized that it had happened, it didn't seem real.
These depressions, which are worse than the rage and sadness that the conglomerate makes me feel all the time anyway, usually last for a few days to a couple of weeks. Right before they end, the mental anguish that I experience is intolerable. Then I get some time off from it; it's as if I'm processing the horror of my situation in sections, with the pain burning through all my synapses until they refuse to carry any more of it for a while, until the next time.
Copyright L. Kochman, May 9, 2015 @ 3:35 p.m.
