I would appreciate it if you wouldn't respond to my less sensitive utterances by being even more horrible. I'm not your mother, and even mothers can be forgiven for getting frustrated with adult children who NEVER GET IT.
I am homeless, poor, harassed, stalked, and cyber raped. I don't think you know what it's like just to be poor; it means that a crisis is waiting to happen every day, and that you get treated horribly most of the time. That's what it means just to be poor; add to that a bad type of fame and also persecution by the most powerful people in the world, and I think you can forgive me for losing my temper with you. You're not even in your early 20s anymore; you are unequivocally of adult age, and you can deal with it when people don't coddle you.
I realize that I have often lost my temper with you over the past five years. What I have stopped doing is instantly apologizing for it and giving you another chance and another chance to make me feel bad.
My occasionally shrill pronouncements about your infatuation with your callowness don't have to and shouldn't deter you from reasoning things out for yourself. There is nothing on the conglomerate's agenda that you can't understand is wrong, just wrong; truly evil. I realize that perhaps you don't think it would be lucrative to cease to promote that agenda; are you not rich enough already? Do you have no personal value system that tells you that it's wrong to make money through corrupted means?
It's been disappointing that you don't seem interested in being a real actor. Maybe you're tired of it, I don't know. I didn't think you'd do what you're doing. It seemed to me, at the beginning, that you had the intelligence and talent to do whatever you wanted, and it seems like you just keep doing one thing after another to avoid anything that requires talent and intelligence. Do you ever consider putting your looks last among the things that you bring to your profession?
How many times have I called you stupid since 2010? What I meant was "You're smarter than this; why aren't you acting like it?"
I'm hoping that I'll meet someone, while trying to do the things that I think I should do with my life. This page is not about trying to keep your romantic interest. You're free of me that way; I don't want to marry you. That will be true even if you gain morality. I don't want fame at all, and I really don't want the type of fame that you have. Millions of people; nuh uh. Watching me all the time; I don't want that. I'll always be uninteresting to people who don't like to read much and who think it's weird or wrong to think a lot. Lots of people who follow movie stars will always think I'm dumb and will have no idea what I'm talking about, and that is fine with me, if they don't bully me for it.
Copyright L. Kochman, June 6, 2015 @ 8:16 p.m.
