I was never really someone who spent time obsessing about my status as an object of male competition. I think that just having the goal of having a lot of people attracted to you is not worth much.
Even when I was younger and prettier than I am now, what I tended to think about in terms of how many people were attracted to me was that it increased the chances that among those people I would meet someone to whom I was attracted and who also was someone with whom I could have a real relationship. It's nice to be pretty, but I never made that the focus of my interactions with people.
It's not a good feeling to know that you are thought of as the object of competition rather than as a person. When there's any other impetus for someone wanting to be with you than that you are liked, cared about and respected, that impetus will not be the basis of a relationship that is reliable or that will make you happy.
Copyright L. Kochman, September 20, 2015 @ 7:14 a.m.
